Dear blog: I'm sorry I've neglected you!

Beau Lewis Wedding 2-6-10

Maddie loves the snow!

She loves playing music on her piano- especially naked!

Wow... Has it been a while since I've posted. Let's see- Where do I start... Christmas with Maddie was fantastic this year. She actually understood opening presents. She thought every single one was for her- but we worked through it. I was lucky enough to have my mom, brothers Brent and Chance and sister Cortney in Bend to celebrate! It was a nice relaxing week... Oh yeah and I turned 29. (whoo-hoo)
New Years we had a great night with friends - small intimate crowd, great food, great conversation, and endless drinks! Just the way I like things.

Things were going along nicely in our boring lives- nothing out of the ordinary.... Till one day I got a pain under my right boob- on the side... I thought I dislocated a rib. I went and worked out thinking that would help... it didn't. Then it just kept getting worse. I coughed up a little bit of blood... then the pain got so bad I couldn't cough, take a deep breath, yawn, laugh, sleep, or really do anything. So I made a chiropractor appointment. Still sure it was my rib bugging me- just need an adjustment. Went to work and a guy I work with said I've had a lot of rib injury's and that doesn't seem right. (Joe had been saying it wasn't a rib the whole time) So I thought- sure I will go to the DR. some pain pills would be nice. I went at noon and he did some listening to my lungs... checking things out and then said, "I'd like you to go get some blood tests done and come back in an hour and a half for a chest x-ray". I asked what he was looking for ... he said, pnemonia, pluracy, and worst case scenario blood clots in your lungs. Then he followed me across the hall to the lab and wrote STAT in red letters on my orders and told the tech to get the results asap. So I went in the car and cried... called Joe, my mom and my sister. Everyone said reassured me that he was being cautious and to calm down. (But I knew) I came back to do the x-ray and everyone in the office seemed to be much nicer to me... I did the x-ray, waited some more... Then the dr. came in the room and said- you have blood clots in your lungs and i'm admitting you to the hospital. I started to cry- he said Shocking huh? You thought it was your rib. Anyhow, I called Joe immediately to meet me at the hospital. Luckily Abbey is a saint and picked Maddie up within 10 minutes.
Got to the hospital and went straight to the CT scan. waited some more... they called me a "trauma" Wasn't super stoked on that. Then finally got up to the ct scan- they put this stuff in your iv... it feels like you pee yourself. I had to check to make sure- the tech was laughing at me. :) Then joe and I are waiting for the results and he comes out and says it's confirmed you have multiple clots in your lungs and you are being admitted... Joe got a little pale. I had already accepted it hours ago. Go downstairs to check in. Then we go sign my life away and there isn't a room ready! Shocking. So we wait... I have been at the hospital for 4 hours at this point... not one drop of pain meds. Not thrilled. Joe got a little testy with the ladies and 10 minutes later I was in a room. But oh - shift change for the nurses. We were in my room an hour before I FINALLY got some morphine. Needless to say I wasn't happy. They struggled to keep my pain under control while I was in the hospital- The nurse suggested I stay another night- but I wanted out of hospital hell- and home with my family.
Pulminary Embolism... something you really don't want to know that much about. Over 300,000 people die every year. I luckily am not part of that statistic. Although, it's hard to be thankful when I'm facing thousands of dollars in medical bills, Endless Dr. appointments and tests, Coumadin (blood thinner) for minimum of 6 months- no birth control, no babies, and worst of all no drinking! Not to mention being scared to death to shave my legs and part of my lung is dying.... This experience has made me more scared for my health then ever before. Every pang in my chest, every headache I think I'm about to die. I'm extremely emotional and thankful that for every minute I get to spend with my amazing daughter. I still don't have very much energy and still am having pain on my right side. But overall am doing much better.
Wishing I never got on birth control- (the reason this all happened- they say) Although 5 kids would be a handful right now. :)
Hoping I can get back to my uneventful life very soon!